Alex had just finished giving a class I thougt it seemed a little strange that he was dripping wet, but he was calm and smiling so I asked him a few questions and he explained that the yoga took place in a heated room and that people of all levels of fitness were in the classes. How bad could it be?

While I was in my first class I couldn't decide if I was going to embarrass myself more by walking out or just passing out in the room. I stayed and didn't pass ou but at the end of class I walked into the dressing room buried my head in my towel and sobbed. Alice patted me on the back and told me 'd be ok "newbies all do this." I don't know why I came back for another class, I was so afraid sitting out in the parking lot but I kept thinking that I needed to learn to face fear head on and this was a place to start. My body seemed to be healing from the cancer treatment but I wasn't sure my mind ever would.

When I walk into the hot room and the door closes behind me I'm able now, to leave all the "stuff" outside. I feel protected from my own fearful thoughts and I do "let it go." I felt so uncomfortable in the room and in the asanas in the beginning that turning my negative self talk off and concentration on what the teacher was saying was the only wasy to survive the class. Succumbing in that way was the first step in learning to let go of all kinds of thought patterns that weren't serving me well.

I'm using lessons from yoga more and more in my everyday life, trying to stay in the now, not looking to far ahead, just letting difficult thoughts come and go. While I'm in class and I hear an instructor talk about the benefits of a pose, increased circulation, improved immunity, releasing toxings, I fell like I'm a participant in my healing.

I came to Bikram thinking my cancer made me unique I've slowly realized that everyone in the room is here for there own unique reasons and in the end we are all here for the same purpose, we all want to experience life to it's fullest in healthy minds and bodies. I would like to thank all of the instructors for their extraordinary effort in helping us all to achieve this. You change our lives.

I wrote this testimonial in Feb. 2005 I had just broken my ankle. After my ankle healed my Doc's decided that there was a new drug they wanted to give me that could help reduce the risk of a reoccurrence of my cancer. I received the new drug every three weeks for a year, this drug had fatigue and possible heart damage as a side effect. Yoga was put on hold. When the treatments were over I let myself use all kinds of excuses for not coming back, but one morning I woke up tired of thinking about dying, put my yoga clothes on and drove to the studio. I sat in my car for just a minute and the walked inside ready to start practicing living again.